After two unsuccessful attempts to swim the sea buoy in the past 4 weeks, I told myself,  if  I have the chance to do it again, I am going to go for it. This past Monday, April 26th, I had that opportunity and I took it.  I was all business on this swim. Usually I have a big smile plastered on my face but this time I donned a look of determination and I conquered the swim. This was serious business.

On our first attempt at the sea buoy, I had no idea how fortunate we were with the conditions. When we arrived, the water had the look of glass, it could have been easily mistaken for a lake. Since I had never ventured that far outside the Golden Gate for a swim and had nothing to compare it to, I thought that this was what it was like out there. It was unfortunate that I became ill on that swim but that is exactly how it was suppose to work out. If I had got in the water and didn’t have to struggle at all on the swim then I would never had known that the conditions that day were the exception, not the other way around.  When we tried again a few weeks later, we were not even able to motor the 25 ton boat past Point Bonita due to waves. That is when I realized that I was attempting to swim in a very different place than the San Francisco Bay. Even though the two bodies of water are connected and feed each other, that doesn’t mean that they are the same.

On Monday morning at 1:30 a.m. my alarm sounded on my phone and I awoke feeling a little discombobulated.  I had tried taking a sea sick pill the night before to see what the affects on me might be. Well,  the affects were, it completely knocked me out and although I slept well on the boat, it made me feel a little confused in the morning.

We all arose and started to prepare for the day. We began motoring out to the sea buoy a little later than expected. After much discussion about the timing of the jump and how long it would take us to get out there, we began our journey at 2:30 am instead of the previous planned 2:00.  From the beginning I felt like we were late. Bobby is a hurry up and wait kind of guy. He always likes to be early just in case there are any kinks in the chain along the way….and there were…many of them in fact.

We motored out being guided by the nearly full moon, that appeared to gently sit on top of the south tower of the Golden Gate Bridge, until we passed under and were reminded that we were not in the bay any more.  I checked my phone in the morning to see the updated conditions at the sea buoy and I knew that the winds were increasing and the waves were increasing and the conditions were deteriorating.  I still had the positive thought that if we can make it out there and I can get in the water, I am going to go for it.

I tried staying on top of the deck for the journey out. Thinking that the fresh air will help with the sea sickness and being able to sight solid land may help. Well it didn’t but I wasn’t the only one. The entire crew was sick.  It is very hard to start a long swim when your nutrition is depleted and you are dehydrated.  I keep telling myself that it is a work in progress but I haven’t really progressed yet.

We arrived at the sea buoy and off in the distance was a huge cruise ship in the east bound shipping lane. We were going to need to wait until the ship had entered the shipping lane. My course would be north of the lane but  I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere near the small floating city. I began my regular routine and started to prepare my gear. I had my suit on, I had started to grease up to avoid saltwater suit burn, I had my cap and goggles ready but hadn’t dealt with setting up my tracking gps or stretched properly.  I thought I had a little more time to ready myself, and then I heard Bryce say “Oh No!”.  As the crew was lowering the kayak into the water they had lost a grip on the rope and it now floated all alone without a pilot on board in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I emerged on deck and looked at the sight of the lonely kayak making its way towards the Farallon Islands.  The captain circled around it but we weren’t able to catch it. Bobby looked at me and I realized that I was its only hope.  I quickly shoved my earplugs in, put on my cap, adjusted my goggles and stood at the end of the boat needing to jump in.  The moment right before entering the water is a very superstitious time for me. It usually takes me a few seconds to gather myself before my body will allow me to jump. I always get a kiss from Bobby and this whole routine is on my own time… not today.  I looked at Bryce and said as soon as I retrieve the kayak, we will need to get you in it as fast as possible. I saw what the water temperature was registering at the buoy and I knew it was dropping. Right before I jumped I looked at the info and it said 50.8 degrees. That is not the right temperature to be treading water and goofing off in. I took a second to catch my breath and I jumped in and quickly started stroking towards the kayak. I was able to reach it and started to push it in the direction of the mother-ship. I positioned it right along the back near the ladder and Bryce quickly and proficiently loaded on and we were off.  Whew…not at all how I am used to beginning a long swim.

Bryce started paddling and with the 9 ft waves pushing me around, I realized I had no idea where I was in the water. I yelled to him “Which way” and he said “I am trying to figure that out.”  I am positive that this wasn’t the ideal start for him too.  He said that off in the distance he spotted the cruise ship and started heading that way.  I started turning my arms over and felt a wash of cold over me.  My inner dialog started immediately and I told myself  that it was very important at this point to not check out and start to disassociate.  It was in my best interest and safety to know exactly how cold I was and how much pain I might be feeling. I was truly afraid that if I drifted off in my thoughts my body and life might do the same.  I was cold all the way to the core, colder than I had ever felt before.  During this point of the swim it was definitely stroke by stroke, meaning that I wasn’t quite sure if I was going to make the next stroke from the last.  I have an enormous amount of cold water swimming experience. I have swum in water in the low 40’s before but I had never felt like this.  In the first half hour I wasn’t sure if I would make it much further. My hands and feet had absolutely no feeling, every time I exhaled I felt sad to have the warm breath leave me.  I struggled to rotate my arms and yes I even questioned my sanity here.

I started repeating the mantras “quitting is not an option” and “it is okay to suffer”. I thought to myself that I was put here right now, in these conditions to experience something I had never experienced before and I needed to figure out how to work through it.  I started to play head games with myself and I knew if I could trick my brain into feeling warm then my body would follow.  At first I cycled through as many warm thoughts as possible. I knew Johnny Diesel was thinking about me and sending me his love and I figured I would tap into it to warm my heart first. Then I thought about my Dad’s wife Clellan. She has this pair of really warm fuzzy socks that she wears around the house. In my mind, I let her know that I needed to borrow them for a little while. My dialog to myself went something like this “Just put on the left sock first and see if it warms up your foot. Now doesn’t that feel better. How about putting on the right sock. Now your feet are warm, work on the rest of your body”.  I imagined wrapping myself in an electric blanket and I turned it up to high.  I felt my internal furnace kick on including the sound that a heater makes when it starts up.  Then Bryce gave me the hand signal that it was time to feed and I swam towards the mother-ship. I swam up, grab the bottle and opened it, the boat kept moving and I was stationary treading water and the bottle was ripped out of my hand. I could have really used the calories right now to fuel my inner fire but it was going to have to wait.

I had convinced myself to stop thinking stroke by stroke and tried to expand my thoughts to minute by minute. I began to play word association games in my head that went like this “spicy Schezwan beef, hot and sour soup, hot Thai chicken soup, Thai coconut noodle bowl, hot tamales, hot tamales, hot tamales, Hot tamales, HOT tamales, HOT TAMALES, YES HOT TAMALES” Obviously I was hungry but dang if hot tamales wasn’t the magic word. I must have said it a hundred times to myself, in every voice I could muster up. It worked because the next thing I knew I was warm.

My thoughts now were feeding by feeding, which occur every half hour.  As long as I could get some nutrition in me, I was going to be fine. At the hour and half mark the water was really rocking and rolling.  It felt like the waves were increasing and I wasn’t able to communicate to my crew that I thought it would be better to feed from the kayak. I swam up to the boat and grabbed onto my bottles, once again they were ripped from my hands but I was able to grab onto a GU that was taped to the side of my bottle. Thank goodness, some type of nutrition was in my hands. I took it in really fast and tucked the garbage into my suit. I have swum before with GUs in my suit but the packets have ultimately ended up cutting into me so I don’t do it anymore.

At my last check in with my body, I felt great. My core was warm, my arms were freely moving and now it was time to let it all go and really get going.  At the two hour mark I hit a calm patch of water and swam up to the boat to feed. I was able to grab the bottle and get down 8 oz of a high carbohydrate drink. I swam off and felt the effects immediately. Yeah baby, I was on my way now and I knew I could do it.  Off in the distance I saw what looked like a ghost image of the Golden Gate Bridge and Bryce saw it at the same time. When I popped my head up to say that I could swear that I saw the bridge he said “can you see it, way off in the distance”.  Heck yeah, I was going to make it.

I knew that all I needed to do at this point was move forward enough to catch the building 4.1 knot flood that starts right before Point Bonita. At that moment I felt a push from behind and I knew I had arrived.  The rest of the swim consisted of swimming through some very rough water as the almost full moon danced with the Pacific Ocean and flooded our beautiful bay.  I was a tiny little speck in the middle of it all and as always, there is no other place in the world I would rather be.

The accomplishment of this swim was a big confidence booster for me.  I think of this training swim as a little less than half of my Farallones course. I now know the middle part of my Farallones course. I know the ending part from the Golden Gate Bridge to Aquatic Park.  I am only waiting to know the start and that will have to wait until my big day.  I do truly believe that this is my year and I am just the girl for the job. Now when I think of my Farallones swim, all I think is bring it on!

Here is a map of my approximate course. I didn’t have a gps on so I drew a straight line 12.65 miles from the Golden Gate Bridge. When I look at the whole map and the location of the Farallon Islands,  I realize how much I have accomplished.

Thank you to my crew, that risk life and limb in helping me follow my dream.  Captain Paul Osbourne with his incredible boat the Savoir Faire, First-mate Margarita, who safely guided us to the start and helped balance the girl power on the boat.  Lisa with her calming demeanor and diligent work of feeding me in less than ideal conditions. I can’t even imagine being out there without you Lisa.  Bobby, who none of this could possibly happen without his presence.  I would also like to thank the South End Rowing Club. My dream would only be a dream if  it wasn’t for the love and support of its members. Most of all I would like to express an enormous amount of gratitude and  congratulations to Bryce. In the face of adversity your positive attitude is astonishing.  I might have been the first female to accomplish that swim and if so, you are the first to pilot it.  What an adventure!

The start of this swim was so hectic that there is no photos or video from the beginning or middle.  Here is a video that my Dad made from the ending. Video taken by Lisa with her expert narration.
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